Making it exist

In constant fear of something not being exceptional, doing it “wrong,” blabbering on about nonsense… [insert more excuses], I have held off starting a blog. But I saw this image and decided to take the leap.

I’m writing this from my phone while lying in bed at 12:10am EST. This is not what I intended for my night. No. I would like to be sleeping, however when ideas start running through my brain I have to put them somewhere.

Tonight I was imagining elements of an author’s promotional kit - a project I’m starting next week for my friend. This is one of the ways I get to be creative, have a flexible work schedule, and get a little income.

My primary role is mom to a one year old. While there are definitely opportunities for creativity in that space, I make zero dollars. For an accomplishment-driven woman who has worked full-time for nearly 20 years, this shift into parenthood has been very tough. The dopamine hits are much different now and my brain has yet to get onboard our change in priorities.

BRAIN | “But work is where we get our worth.”

HEART | “Not anymore, friend. And also, that was not such a good time anyway.”

Alas, I continue the search for what works best for me - enough work that I feel connected to others, get to stay sharp(ish), and make a little money + spend these critical years with my family, forging important bonds with my kid, and taking care of my well-being. Which btw, please ask how you can best support your postpartum person! I’m a year out from delivery and still have a stressed nervous system without a full-time job outside of the home.

What will this blog be? Where will it go? Don’t know and don’t know. We’ll both find out together.

With kindness and compassion,

Katie